Reflections about the woman that came after me… And the peace that comes with learning to mind my own f*cking business πŸ™ƒπŸŒŸβœ¨πŸ’«

On forgiveness, moving forward and peace.

This ones been swirling around for a while so I thought I’d entertain ya’ll and give this breath to come alive. 

Recently I was spending a few short minutes (read: hours and days straight without coming up for air) on Instagram and came across this gem: 

I would have skipped right on by but I was sucked into the trillions of comments under it. 

It’s time like those my spirituality, compassion and faith in mankind is most tested. 

The rage… the disgust… the hate and yuck that was smeared in those words from people talking about their exes. A large majority of them were scorned women of narcissistic men that had been discarded, as most are due to the nature of that beast. 

While I will NEVER ever ever ever EVER for one moment take away from what a person endures under the poisonous, toxic hell and abuse that comes with being with a narcissist, I do have thoughts about this. 

The first being….. 


Can I get an amen???

Why do you WANT to talk to your exes new person and warn them? Where’s this coming from inside you??? 

Revenge? Vindictiveness???

Because I could tell you with only about a million percent certainty that most of those scorned women didn’t want to warn the new replacement because they genuinely cared about that new, unsuspecting victim. 

That would be a whole other thing. 

These women wanted to exact revenge. They wanted someone to pay for the pain that was caused to them. And they wanted to make sure to rob their ex of any joy and peace possible.

Which, yes. On one hand… from personal experience I wanted heads to start rolling. 

Trust me. 

Coming from someone who was humiliated, destroyed, and left with vulchers basically pecking out my eyeballs along with any remnants of my soul that was left… I can understand this more than you know. 

But here’s the deal:

When we live with lower vibrational feels in us like hate, rage and disgust causing us to want to revenge, smear campaign and make someone pay for what we think they have done to us: 

This poisons no one but ourselves

If we step out in the woo a bit further… living with those energies burning hot and furious within us can manifest in the form of illness, disease, major misfortunes, and generalized personal misery.  

That misery is in US. Not them. Sorry, karma doesn’t work like you wish it did… 

Sometimes we don’t realize that we are the source of our misery because we are so busy blaming our ex and their new life, painting ourselves into a victim, or blaming anything and everything else in general. 

Blame game is so much easier than taking ownership and picking up our pieces and focusing on rebuilding them into a beautiful, brilliant new masterpiece of ourselves. 

I can write this piece because I HAVE BEEN THERE. 

I mean really, really there. 

Wishing ill on my replacement… Sometimes finding myself giggling, smirking and feeling a sick sort of satisfaction thinking about what was gonna happen when he does to her what he did to me (Which, I truly hope he doesn’t  πŸ™ƒ). 

But you know what that made me??? 

A dick. That’s what. 

It wasn’t congruent with who I truly am at the core of my soul which is an incredibly compassionate human being that wishes only love and the most good for everyone. 


In stepping into and owning that I discovered I couldn’t selectively feel that way and be authentic to that truth but then have that bit of revenge in the pit of my soul. 

So I had to evaluate myself. And let me tell you it was a hard bitch to do but OH soooo worth it. 

Staying in my lane, forgiving myself and all others, and looking forward has given me an insane sense of freedom. A sense of peace so sweet and delicious I want to package it up and sell it. 

I won’t lie to you…  it gave me a sort of high conjuring up all that vehement hate to the point I could feel my blood boil. 

It was once I started truly understanding emotions and what they do to us… physically, mentally and spiritually that I decided to check myself before I wrecked myself. 

I get it. I had to swallow the fact that MY life and the vision of what it should have been was ripped out from under me. It might have been ripped out from under you also… I get that. 

But follow me a smidge… 

In the rebuilding process you want to make YOU the focus.

Look and focus our energies within. 

Focusing on our own healing and rebuilding and designing our new life into something more amazing than we can dream of simply cannot happen unless we forgive, let go, and move forward. 

It really hit home for me when I realized that I wouldn’t want to wish the misery I went through on another person regardless of what their story is. Regardless of what their part in my life has been. Good or bad.

The one after me has 2 kids from a previous marriage and all I could think is what does that make me if I wish ill on her?? That would mean her babies would be affected if she were treated with the same brutality that I was.

Wow. Fucking WOW. 

How could I live with that? 

I couldn’t. At the end of the day that was exhausting and draining to me to direct my energy in that fashion. 

Do I always like the hand I was dealt in life??  Mmmmm… sometimes not so much. 

But the majority of other times, YESSSSSSS. Yes so much. πŸ™‚

I can speak from personal experience that living from a place of peace, forgiveness and love has served me so much better than the alternatives. 

I can’t even describe to you how much more at ease I feel that even though my part in Mr. Good’s life didn’t end well… I truly and deeply hope that his soul has finally found what it was yearning for. 

That feels sooooo much more delicious and fulfilling to be happy for other peoples happiness and well being.

Sometimes we don’t always get what we want in life. 

With a little elbow grease, a lot of internal reflection with a dash of grace from God we can totally co-create exquisite masterpieces of our own lives with broken pieces of the previous ones. 

This requires brutal honesty with ourselves though. And that’s hard and messy and very uncomfortable. But so rewarding in its own right.

Forgiving and moving on and dropping the bullshit transparent games doesn’t mean I agree with what happened to me in those dark years… And you shouldn’t either. 

No fucking way. It just means I made the decision to not let it disturb my peace and flow any more than it already had. 

By sharing my experiences (crazy brain) and brutal truth of my existence, I hope to be an inspiration. I hope to illuminate a path for us all to be able to find peace in our own lives. I pray that every moment we spend on this earth, we are filled with the most joy, sparkle and magnificence a person could dream of and more. 

Big love ❣️

a. Danielle 

My “Marc Moment” Β  Β  Β  Reiki induced epiphany on learning to accept love β£οΈ

I had an INCREDIBLE day yesterday. It was just one of those where I felt connected, in alignment, and all things sparkly and fiery ✨🌟πŸ”₯πŸ’›

I had a Reiki treatment last week and was waiting for the epiphany of beautiful healing to surface and it showed up with a major dose with Grace for me yesteday.  

It started off on the drive to the gym in the morning. I rando had a deep remniscent flash of my high school boyfriend Marc… 

He is my universal symbol of the only time I have felt truly loved, adored, treated like a queen all things every girl could dream of and more.

He loved me for my crazy… he didn’t judge my family and poverty level lifestyle my family was rocking and even put up with my crazy ass Dead Mom (who of course, wasn’t dead then πŸ™ƒ) even when she wanted to try and put a restraining order against him because he was a senior and I was a freshman and she was just a flat out crazy B.  

Looking back, the feeling that he gave me felt like home. It was that all emcompassing blanket of wholesome, full, love. 

His soul is so kind and pure and his heart so loving and wholesome. They broke the mold when they made him. 

 BUT yessssssss as you could predict I shredded that to shit.

Just obliterated it. 

Another story (multiply blurbs) for another day. 

I didn’t think MUCH of the “Marc moment” other than it usually just makes my soul smile, I acknowledge it and move on. 

Except now I am getting more in touch with my inner wisdom and the myriad of ways God and the Universe communicates with me, so I was waiting for the swing around.

So I shelfed it….. 

I got to work and had a webinar on creating a solid marriage and preventing the cracks that usually open in a troubled one (yes….. more writing about that on another day also 😜) I missed it because well… I get sidetracked and times not my jam πŸ™ƒ 

I was reading the replay email about it and wouldn’t ya know…  The person sending the emails name… Yup. 


Ok here’s thing two….. I know something’s coming down the pipe now. 

I opened myself up for whatever it was that needed to be seen.

And then it softly landed in my heart and surfaced into my conscious. 

During my “post-op” discussion in my Reiki session the major underlying issue that kept wanting to be brought to light was that I need embrace the fact that it’s ok for me to accept love….. 

This sounds easy on the surface but for me…… NOT. 

With my delicate interweavings that make my heart and soul mixed in with the fact I was birthed by a human I vote should never have been allowed to procreate as a mother plus being tossed aside like an old sock starting with her going through a myriad of others including my latest contribution to misery Mr. Good…. is a huge ass recipe for a lot of struggle in the acceptance of love department. 

Which then manifested into a full fledged crisis with self love. It’s all tied together… 

I piece the puzzle together like this: 

From a little girl I was shoved aside to no fault of Dead moms because she was on her own journey of finding love (in all the wrong places) of course. 

She needed to find something that soothed her heart that over powered her motherly drive and instinct. I have forgiven her, from a spiritual compassionate standpoint. 

We all just want to love and be loved right?? I am not able to fault her. 

But how I suffered from this going through my life was that I didn’t know how to accept GOOD wholesome love when I had it. 

It was something not one ounce of my soul or cells were used to… 

So I did what I only knew best to do at the time. I fucking destroyed it. 

Shredded it to hell and back. 

Then went on to be in a series of relationships that destroyed me….. But until the king pin one that was my marriage I didn’t really realize the effects that it was having on me. Because I was “used” to feeling like that…. 

I hadn’t been given good, wholesome love from a young age. I didn’t know any better. 

And that’s the exquisite thing about Reiki healing…. It illuminates things for us that need love salve smoothed on it that we may not consciously have a clue about.

What this brings to light for me is the fact that I get a second chance to re-write the story that was on a loop in me.  That loop will now say I AM worthy of wholesome, true, healthy love. 

But I must MUST to do the reflecting and healing in me to embrace those traumatic emotional wounds that are deep inside me so that I can rewrite my new story or else I will be stuck in a repeat cycle of attracting relationships that do not serve me or my fluttery soul to its hightest good. 

Like don’t even come near me until I have gone in the trenches with this one because I will fuck you up, shred you to pieces and destroy you. The weak need not apply for being my co-pilot that is FOR SURE. 

I text my soul seester and said I had a “Marc moment” to which she appropriately replied “oh fuck” because she knew it was gonna be a doozy. 
I have to make sense of all this. Everything. The things that are said, the thunderous booming things that we absorb that aren’t said, the why’s, the how’s…. EVERYTHING. 

I’m thankful this was brought to the light for me. 

This was a huge dose of Grace for me.

It’s an intricate part of my dance here on earth to be able to flow and grow through these things.

I am a firm believer that we are not made to suffer. I think we go through these things that are used to help us learn lessons and then help us be light sources for others that need to be Harriet Tubmmaned through to their own healing journey. 

I could choose to ignore this and try and jam myself into another relationship and donate another couple years to something that will ultimately dim my light. OR I can put my nose the grindstone and explore further what it was that caused these limiting beliefs to be born and stuck in me and learn to release them… 

I can get busy acknowledging, accepting and surrendering them to truly heal and live a brilliant life with the most joy and love and potential possible…. whilst illuminating the way for others to join me. 

With absolute grace today… 

a. Danielle ❣️

On trusting ourselves, taking (and giving) advice and cultivating inner wisdom kibbles πŸ’›πŸ’«πŸŒŸ

This blurby blurb is gonna be nestled tightly under a brand spankin NEW category called “The Glinda the Good Witch Chronicles”….  πŸ™‚ 

This is my favorite category because it’s where my passion and fire are most tenacious. 

It’s because I am a firm FIRM believer that we have been built with everything we need to know about anything to do with surviving and thriving in this thing we call life right inside each of us… 

I know that we have all been masterfully built from the inside out with intricate pieces that make each of us an exquisite, spectacular, brilliant creation.  

Gonna leave that ditty bit right there… πŸ™‚

But how amazingly refreshing and relieving is THAT??!? 

Know what else is also built in us??? That we need to tap into…. 

Wisdom. BRILLIANT fucking wisdom that knows what our soul yearns for us to listen to. 

How do we tap into this fountain of youth for our guidance??? We must learn to trust ourselves. Period. 

 Remember in the movie Witchy Oz… the lesson taught by Glinda was that Dorothy had everything she needed inside her all along??! She didn’t need to the ruby slippers… 

But let’s hold the phone a sec here… I am also a firm believer that anything blingy is more than necessary to inch you closer to your dreams βœ¨πŸ™ƒπŸ’« Mmmmkay.

OHHHHHHHH. Sit down Martha. I hear you squawking. 

You’ve fucked up your life every which way edgewise right? Up, down and sideways and back again and wouldn’t dare trust yourself, right?? 

I know. 

Me too. That’s what I write.  

I biff up. BIG. I get curious and reflective… learn what I can from it and write about it. 

I truly want to drag you all past all that so you don’t have to do the hard shit yourself…  but I can’t. 

What I can tell you is this. I GUARANTEE with every ounce of my being that those times you fucked up the most… and often… you were disconnected from yourself and source, SOMEHOW. 

Drugs. Shopping.. Binge eating… Boozing… Our lack of self awareness… living lives that aren’t ours… So attached to your iPhone and stalking your old life that you don’t have a foot in your current moment… etc etc etc.

NUMEROUS distractions cause us to get disconnected from ourselves.. God, Source energy.. Everything. 

It drowns out our internal voice that truly knows what we need and guides us to be more in alignment with our purpose, our happy, and our flow. 

This will be a reoccurring ditty about being disconnected because I have succeeded so staunchly in that arena that it cost me my soul… And I have fought like hell to get my flame back. 

So this brings me to want to talk about taking adivce from family, friends, co workers, loved ones… Google. You name it. Advice from anyone other than your internal wisdom and whoever you pray to… 

I know we need peoples.. we need a solid, loving, supportive tribe…

They mean well. They love us. And we love them. Hard. 

But here’s the deal. 

They aren’t built from the same pieces we are. They don’t have the same inner workings, the same hurts, the same ouchies, the same insecurities, the same life growing up as we do… 

They may LOOK similar… You may have tribe mates your drawn to for suffering in similar experiences… 

Drug abuse… Cheating Narcissistic husbands… Eating disorders…. 

Yes. All similar. 

But so not. 

It’s wise to seek counsel in those we trust and love. I think it’s important that we are aware enough to know that when they give advice they are giving it from their own perspective. Their own fears, experience and other factors added up and that’s what we get from them according to THEIR journey. 

We all have those friends that will be quick to say “oh fπŸ’₯ck that guy move on” if we share that our man has done something that upset us…. 

And they do so from a loving place I can assure you. But just because you had a cheating husband and the marriage dissolved does NOT mean that everyone else in a similar jam is going to end up like that. 

The players are different. What they are made of us different… literally EVERYTHING is different. 

My point? 

Is this: 

What if we just loved our people through whatever they are going through?? We remove our knee jerk reaction to tell them what to do… or how to do it or even give judgmental opinions of said cheating asshole husband πŸ™ƒπŸ’«πŸ™‚ 

What if we just created a safe space for our loved ones to just “be”??  A safe space that says “I know what your going through is hard and exhausting and stretching you as thin as you can get to the point of breaking….  Your heart is saying one thing and your brain is saying another… But I’m  just going to love you how you are no matter what decision YOU make for you and your situation”… 

I think when we approach life from that mindset it allows them space to tune into their own internal wisdom. It gives them space to process what they need to go through knowing that no matter what they are fully supported by us. This might allow them the freedom to get connected to themselves and their God or source or whatever’s truly needed for them to be guided on their path. 

They can find their own Glinda the Good Witch Vibes. πŸŒŸπŸ’«πŸ’›πŸ”₯

That feels so much better to me… I know when I was down and out what I didn’t need was a bashing session that accomplished nothing but giving certain people an arena to get their own hatred out of them using my situation as a catalyst to do so. 

What I think we need is loving support. Fuel. 

I don’t think there are right or wrong decisions per se… 

I believe we make a decision based off what we have to work with at the time and if it so happens to blow up in our face then wouldn’t it be much better if we had a safe place to land? 

Instead of judgy “I told you so’s” etc??  

I invite you to join me in being more mindful when listening to our loved ones struggles the next time they reach out to us. 

Let’s be more mindful to simply illuminate the fact that we are here for them to love them however they choose to navigate their lives… That they couldn’t fuck up hard enough for us to judge them with an ill heart or foul intent. 

Let’s illuminate a space that allows them to show up and be the beautiful, brilliant being that THEY are. Let’s give them the freedom to dial into their own internal wisdom and navigational devices. 

Because they have it. You have it. I have it. 

I think we’d all feel safer using it if we knew we would be loved and supported for doing so. And the more we use it the stronger it becomes and the closer we get to living a life that’s truly, fully meant for us.

Happy flutters my loves… 

a. Danielle ❣️ 

The secret magic pill to our body image woes…Β 

Life is too short to be spent at war with yourself…. βš“οΈ

As promised here is the first blurb in an undetermined amount of blurbies in the series called “What the FπŸ’₯ck is goin on around here”. πŸ™‚ 

I don’t know about you but I think that’s got a catchy little ringly jingly to it. πŸ™ƒ

Let’s dive right in. 

Did you do your homework task? Did you pinpoint that thing about your body that you hate or are embarrassed of?

You know the thing… it’s what you pick apart relentlessly every time you look in the mirror, what you spend an obscene amount of time trying to cover up or adjust your clothing just right so your not exposed and it isn’t seen by God forbid another judgmental person… Including yourself. 

It’s the thing you may secretly admire on another persons body… 

I know you know what it is. It’s the thing that deflates us of self esteem and maybe even self worth… 

If your like me it’s the thing(s) that caused me to go shopping ONLY when I had a level 5.8 buzz because the anxiety and disgust and self loathing that showed up to my dressing room was enough to set off a massive meltdown.  The shame and disappointment I felt about myself when trying on clothes was somewhat soothed over by booze and maybe a snaccidental Xanax pill… 

It might be the thing that causes you to try on 483737384 outfits to go out in only to say fuck it because your so upset you end up staying home. Then not only do you not go flutter with your loved ones but you actually stay home and order a pizza and binge yourself into oblivion because stuffing yourself miserable was the better alternative to the shit you feel when you think about yourself and what you feel you look like in the mirror. 

Not that I know from experience…. 

I think you catch my drifty here. 

Now this is gonna get a little interactive for a minute. Don’t worry I will be participating right along side you. 

This parts important though, so don’t skip over it. 

I want you to think long and hard about the intensity of how you feel when you think of this body part or all the havoc that part wreaks on your body. 

And I mean REALLY feel it. 

What is it? Shame? DISGUST? Do you hate it? And how ferociously do you hate it? Does it cause embarrassment? Feelings that your never gonna be loved or accepted?

It’s ok. Come with me a little further…. 

Does it make you feel less than? Does it make you feel like your not beautiful? Does it make you feel like your a failure or worthless? Your stupid? Ugly?

What? Your in constant fear your husbands gonna replace you with a newer make and model because you think your fat and lack self esteem, confidence and self worth and can’t bring yourself to confidently wear cute and trendy clothes like everyone else? 

Oh. Woops. How’d that one get in there πŸ™ƒ

I’m telling you this is important that you get real fucking honest and real fast if you want to see, touch, feel and embrace dynamic positive change. 

With me? Good. Now sit with it. Sit with those shitty feels.

Don’t push them down or away. Don’t jump to Facebook and numb yourself out. 

It’s ok. I’m here with you and I wouldn’t tell you to go here if I wasnt. I’ve got you. Trust me. 

Because this: 

Now let’s shift gears a smidge. 

Now tell me this. What is the thing or person you absolutely love more than anything on the face of the earth? More than the air you breath? What’s the thing you love so much that it makes your soul flutter and stomach feel like it has butterflies in it. What’s the thing that lights you up at the very thought about it?? 

Maybe you smiled just now when you thought of it… 

Isn’t that feeling amazing? Those kind of feels that pure love elicites. Pure, uninhibited, blissful love. 

Now let’s sit with this a bit. Let it wrap around your heart and dance in your soul. Let it warm you up from the inside out.

Those warm and fuzzy feels. The things that just feel like home. You can breath. You feel peaceful easy feelings πŸ™ƒ Joy. Bliss. Soul smiles. Radiant warmth from the inside out.

Remember this feeling. 

Now, I need to ask you something serial…  When is the last time you felt THAT way when you thought about yourself? 

When’s the last time you felt remotely like that when you looked in the mirror? 

You don’t do very often do you??… Be truthful. 

Why not? 

I know what your thinking. You thought you were gonna get a meal plan or secret magic trick or magic pill to make your body woes go away didn’t you? 

You thought you were gonna get the short cut to get rid of that cellulite right? And now I’ve taken you on a crazy train ride though a shit storm of emotions and you think there’s no connection. 

But there is. 

There sooooooo is. 

This my friends and followers (and haters that want to keep tabs on me πŸ˜‰) was the issue that once I had a rude awakening about how terrible I was treating myself – and made an attempt to be more loving and accepting of myself changed EVERYTHING. 

You don’t believe me that’s fine? But this is your first task to be mindful about. 

I’m telling you that I know you want to jump in an ubber restrictive low carb low calorie starvation diet and do 4837267294 mins of cardio to get where you think you need to be and that’s ok. 

But if you want to make deep, meaningful positive changes… start here. 

Here’s why… 

I know that you think you will reach the pinnacle happiness “when you lose that 15-20lbs” or get back into your pre-Prego clothes etc. 

The truth is if you can’t source happiness from the inside regardless of what you look like or feel like on the outside your gonna be in for a rude awakening. Trust me on this one, I know. 

Your looks can change at any time… Period? Oh lord be ready for that extra water weight, grouchy cravings and roller coaster emotions, oh my!

Restricted yourself so much that you finally got into those jeans or dropped the weight but found out you simply can’t sustain that rigid type of lifestyle and the next thing you know you gained it all back and maybe then some??!? ☹️ 

I’m not telling you how to live your life or sayin that I am right (but I am πŸ˜πŸ˜œπŸ™ƒ kiddin). What I am sayin is that I have been there done that and found a better, more peaceful, graceful way to go about things that produce a much higher success rate all across the board.

And I am telling you that once I surrendered and latched on to this theory things improved DRAMATICALLY. 

So just try it for a little while….. That’s all I’m asking. Hand me over that hate, and shame and guilt and self loathing you have to yourself and your body and try illiciting feelings of love and full acceptance to yourself. 

Love yourself and that part of you we picked out earlier as much and as hard as you love the thing or person most dearest to your heart. 

I promise I’ll give you back your shame and guilt and hatred if you find that it’s easier living treating yourself like that than it is to treat yourself with loves. 

I am confident that you will find it so much easier and less abrasive living with this new attitude toward yourself. It will fill your time with so much more joy you will wonder how you ever endured living in such negativity as you did before. 

Next in the lineup of blurbies will adventure into my food and exercise fumbles and triumphs and what I do to feel as amazing as I do. (Notice I always reference “feel” and not “look”…. hmmmmm πŸ™‚πŸŒŸπŸ™ƒ)

Not sure in which order but stay tuned and in the mean time I’ll take care of your guilt and shame and hate feelers that you let go of for now. No worries they are in good hands πŸ™ƒ 

All my love….. 

a. Danielle ❣️

Transformational growth side effects πŸ˜Ά

I wanted to write a little blurby blurb (new fave word btw πŸ™ƒ) about some of the side effects of embarking on a personal transformational growth project. 

I feel like a little lotus flower of sorts.  These past few years following my devastating spiritual rock bottom have been the catalyst for my second chance at life. 

It’s allowed my life to be re-created and transformed so dramatically in the most beautifully exquisite, soulful, life purposeful and sparkly fluttery ways. 

As with most things there is some back draft that goes with it. I want to presence it because it took me the longest time to realize it and accept it. I feel like my inability to navigate it was keeping me stuck. 

When we get down and dirty with ourself and make monumental changes that align us closer to our personal truth, we will notice that some of the people around and closest to us will get uncomfortable. 

We as creatures tend to not like change regardless if it will end up saving our lives later. We keep a death grip on things, peeps and places regardless how toxic they are for us. 

Some (read: Not ALL) of the peeps closest to us will be uncomfortable with our new growth and fight like hell to keep us just how we were. They like the status quo because if we change and our relationship changes that means they possibly have to change to… Shriek πŸ˜–

Sometimes our own personal growth causes them to look in the mirror and that’s one scary ass son of a bitch. It’s easier to fight to keep US in a box than to go within themselves. 

And that’s ok. 

It has to be ok because this: 

It’s been my observation that just like the lotus flower, some of the most beautifully brilliant transformations come from rising up out of the wreckage that used to be our old lives. 

Those ashes and that rubble are actually the very things that polish us into our new beauty. If we allow them to. If we are able to look at our adversity as a life saving gift. 

I know it’s hard while we are in the storm and I will write more blurby blurbs ( Damn I love that 😝) about that later. 

But when we rise like a Phoenix out of those ashes we will start to feel and see and embrace our own brilliance like never before. 

We will feel the fire that has been reignited deep down inside us. We will have a clarity and purpose that keeps nudging us forward.  That fire will help us put one foot in front of the other to continue making courageous decisions and changes about our life to take us places with views we have never even dreamed of when we were in old life and old skin. 

When we begin to feel that fire and taste the passion and embrace our new spark we will want to protect that with every last tenacious ounce of ourselves. 

It will not be easy. We are in new skin and fluttering at new levels and fresh out of the gates of doing so. We will be controversial to some and that may cause us to wince and as a knee jerk reaction we will want to make ourselves small again and cloak ourself with a robe of repression so that our brilliance isn’t so obvious. 

You should know what I’m about to say here if you know anything at all about me… 

But in case you don’t: 


We will notice people we thought were our ride or die friends will (to no fault of their own) want to keep us down. They want to pull us back and dim our spark. 

We may notice new people that entered our life that we thought were gonna be wing men for an eternity will want to keep us dimmed from flowing freely. 

They have fears and demons of their own that they are wrestling with. At first this pissed me off fiercely and I felt betrayed. My ego threw all sorts of tantrums. I wanted to rip out all kinds of peepers and toss them in the air like confettis. πŸ™ƒ

But here’s the deal. 

It’s not about us. It never is. Their reaction to us is about THEM. They have fears and demons that they are dealing with too that they haven’t gotten into the trenches with yet. 

It’s not their fault. It’s just where they are at with their own personal journey. It helps to view this transition from a compassionate stand point or else we will be exerting energy in unwise, unproductive ways. 

Like I was. 

Here’s the point I want to drive home. 

Life has a way of flowing more gracefully with the ability to open doors and align us with places, opportunities, people and things that will bring us closer to living our purpose when we loosen the grip and surrender. 

These new things and opportunities and peeps will help nurture our new blaze.  We will be so enveloped in joy and purpose that our souls will finally exhale. πŸŒŸπŸ’«βœ¨

But the clencher is that we must let go, surrender and allow the things that no longer serve us to peacefully drift out of our lives. 

I use the term peacefully here because it is a shock at some of the things that people will do to throw shade at us. It comes in various forms and a multitude of different flavors but the intent is the same. 

It will leave us speechless and confused because with our new found zest and love for life we couldn’t fathom doing that to someone else. 

That’s why the relationship we have with our spark is important. That’s why standing in our truth is vital.  

We have to release the fears of abandonment of letting someone (toxic) go. 

We have to flow through the guilt that often comes from removing long residing people out of our life and not let it paralyze us to keep them around. 

We have to evaluate at what cost is it to us? If it’s at the cost of our soul and purpose it’s too expensive. 

You fought through tough things to get your blaze you don’t want it dampened.

When we let the toxic set up shop and take up real estate there is no room for new beautiful things. When we hang on tooth and nail to a friendship that we have outgrown or one that has grown toxic, we are not creating space for others to move in serendipitously that are a much better vibrational match for us.

I will tell you that once you get a taste of the sweetness that is your true self you will want to protect that with every ounce of your being. 

Your spark, like fire, needs air to breath to grow. 

So what did I do when I recognized this is happening? 


Some will remove themselves. Because it’s easier that way to demonize us than to actually support us because they want us to succeed, just not more than them. Thank them. Trust me. They did us a favor. Send them peace and love and sasahay on.

Some we will actually have to calculate if the cost of having them in our life is worth it. Sadly the weight of those we hold dear to us is the very thing that holds us back. 

My advice on anyone or anything we have to let go of is just do it peacefully, compassionately and with as much ease and grace as possible. 

Just because we are no longer good fits doesn’t make one of us right or wrong or good or bad. 

It makes us different. And that’s beautiful too because we are all stumbling around done here in our own journeys towards truth and fulfillment. 

If they throw a fit or lob zingers at you: let them.

It speaks more about where they are in their journey than where we are in ours. 

I have key mantras that help keep me focused and moving forward to not get wrapped up and that is “stay in your lane”. 

Be you and do you. Hard. Focus on your purpose and stay true to it. Be inapologetic about it. 

The right ones will eventually line up to us.
We just have to open up and let them. 

Enough for now. 

All my love… 

a. Danielle βš“οΈ

A ditty on disappointment and perceived failure…. πŸ™

It’s okay to not be okay πŸ–€βš“οΈπŸŒͺ

Anyone else feeling an obscene amount of crazy going on inside and outside of you or is that just me??? 

I hope it’s just me because I am STRUGGLING. 

B.I.G. Time….  And it’s no bueno feeling like this. I don’t want you to either… 

What’s on my (crazy) brain today you ask??? 

I set a goal for myself a while ago that I had to have a funeral for today. I had to come to terms with the fact that I am not going to be able to achieve this goal. 

 Actually, I have a lot of goals for myself because I set the intention to co-create this beautifully, sparkly vision of what I want for my life that is so pristine and crystal clear and delicious that I can hardly contain myself!! 🌟✨⭐️

The issue I have is I am way too hard on myself. Anyone else have that problem??

I set a running goal and I had to come to terms with the fact that I am not going to hit it. Ugggg πŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺπŸ˜”.  Like triple gazillion Uggg.

Life happened… I somehow managed to get myself into a soul gang rape predicament a while back that rendered me immobile. For days…  In fact I am still recovering. 

If any of you have ever had the pleasure of interacting with a narcissist…. you KNOW how debilitating this is… A moment of silence and deep healing prayers for those of us with them in our lives and ESPECIALLY for the narc and their hearts so that one day they are able to feel higher vibrational feels like peace, love, joy, serenity… ❣️

I have a ton of irons in the fire right now and zero time for error. I am sure many of us are like this… between work, kids, taking care of sick loved ones…. school, whatever it may be, life can be WAY overwhelming at times… 

I recalibrated my mileage so that I would hit my goal… Seemed like a decent plan.

Not. So. Much. πŸ˜” 

But between the half marathons I was running daily to catch up and the recovery from the assault….. my mind, body and soul were screaming at me to stop… 

I should have EASILY hit my running goal. So I fought long and hard with myself (read: brutally beat myself up) on deciding to wave the white flag and admit that I was not going to be able to achieve it… 

Enter the sugar plums… and the rest of their shitty committee friends that turned this shit into an ambush. πŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺ

Have you ever paid attention to their highlight reel of bullshit they start slinging??? 

“You would have hit this goal if you just would have xyz’d better”…. “I can’t believe your a quitter and your giving up like this”… “You can’t even hit this goal that should have been CAKE for you to hit, your gonna be a big embarrassing failure in EVERYTHING else you do”….”Your a disgrace”…. πŸ™ 

And so on… Don’t have those voices???? PRAISE JESUS then. 

But for those us that do, I want to give my two cents about it. 

It pays to be in tuned and listen to our bodies cues. It truly does know what’s best for us… our brains just get in the way. 

I was drained today. I was supposed to run 10 miles. Every time I stand up I get lightheaded and see those little star things… I am in NO condition to push myself right now. I am behind on my deadlines for my coursework and that eats at me terribly. 

I fπŸ€ck up…  I am human. 

I feel overwhelmed as ALL get out. So much that my mindfulness and mediation, self love and self care training aren’t even touching this. 

In fact I want a sweet, delicious, succulent Xanax. Uggg. πŸ˜– Gazillion uggggs actually. 😣

So what are we supposed to do when we feel like everywhere we look the world is on fire around us?? And probably inside us also? πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯

If you have ever felt overwhelmed you know how terrible it can make us feel. It can make us feel isolated because God forbid we show to anyone else that are lives aren’t perfect and we are struggling.

It can make us feel worthless, make us paralyzed by panic and overwhelm, negatively affect our health and a slew other adverse things too numerous to mention. 

How did I navigate this?? 

I asked myself this simple but effective question to help ground me and redirect my energy…. 

I needed to know what the most loving thing I could do for myself in that instance was…. So I asked myself… 

Hear me out……. we know I’m crazy but I’m going somewhere with this. πŸ™ƒ

My heart, soul and body had been taking a beating. My sugar plums were launching missals and declaring warfare in my brain. 

I needed to decide what the most kind and caring thing for me would be. It meant that I had to stomach disappointment and perceived failure in the name of healing. 

I had to shut the shitty committee in my brain up. I had to trust what my inner guidance system was nonchalantly (screaming, begging and trying to get my attention) saying to me. πŸ™‚

I paused. I breathed. And I focused solely on making the next best step and went from there. It brought me to center and brought me the crumb of calm I needed to  shift the direction of the ship.

I searched high and low for that mother effin Xanax to appear 😜 Kiddin πŸ€” Sorta- ish. ☺️

But damn man… You ever get so wrapped up tight and constricted that you realize that you seriously forgot to probably breath for the entire day????

Lashed out uncharacteristically at the nearest love one you could find and ripped their peepers off their face and tossed them up in the air like confettis whilst simultaneously crying and wanting to be hugged?!!? πŸŒͺπŸŒͺπŸŒͺ

Whys it always got to be their peepers?? πŸ€”

At any rate, this is sooooo not good for our souls. But we cannot hide from life or the monsters that may be in it… As much as I would love to it’s not possible. 

So I feel like we need to be better armed at deescalating these types of situations with natural methods that are readily available in a flash. 

I could feel the momentum building on this little soirΓ©e of sorts…. So it wasn’t a surprise. But as life goes we are not fully able to control much…. but we can try and arm ourselves with tools to navigate through life’s curveballs more gracefully.

We can control how we choose to put ourselves and our (mental/spiritual) health and wellbeing as first order priority when shit goes down. 

It’s not easy mastering the pause. I know I need to do it. But when your in the grips of an episode it’s not always easy to respond productively. 

What I do know is this… we must be easy on ourselves… We are all works in progress. 

We are all struggling and stumbling to put one foot in front of the other some days. We are going to lose the show every once in a while… 

We must be quick to forgive ourselves. 

It’s uncomfortable to lose my spark ☹️ it bums me out. I am incredibly hard on myself ESPECIALLY when I miss the mark or fall short of something… 

I said this was a perceived failure because as I reflect on what was happening and the choices I made as I rode the wave of the crisis versus how I have handled similar situations in the past… I don’t see it as a failure at all now…. 

Instead I see it as a sign of growth and progress of me being able to better navigate high intensity emotions in situations of overwhelm. 

I’m at peace with that. 

And more than anything I want to say that it’s sooooo okay, not being okay. 

Many loving and healing prayers for handling the heavy energy that’s been hanging around… Prayers that we are all filled with strength and resilience to guide us through our days with as much grace and ease as possible… βš“οΈπŸ–€πŸŒͺ

All my love… 

a. Danielle ❣️

New levels, New Devils…Β 

Let’s do the damn thang πŸ”₯

Good morning my loves πŸ’•

I’m not sure if it’s the planetary alignment but does anyone else feel on edge, a little extra overwhelmed and that peeps are trying your nerves at every turn??? 

Or maybe it’s Mother Nature working on me??? πŸ€” 

At any rate I have something new to write about πŸŽ‰ And I’m going to waste zero time jumping right in. 

It will never cease to amaze me at the magnitude at which people can be dickheads. 

The worst is when they seemingly have not the slightest clue in the world that the yuck that comes flowing out of their mouths smells like an over flowing porta potty that’s spent weeks rotting in the dead of the summer heat…. 

Let me set the stage for you… 

When I am at the gym working out PLEASE don’t come up and interrupt me and talk to me EVEN if I am the last person on the planet to talk to because that is my “me” time. My therapy. It’s the solid few minutes of the day I am focusing solely on my mind, body, and soul simultaneously…. I don’t mean to be unfriendly when I say that…. 

But I value that time more than anything on the planet. And you should too. It gets all the good feels flowin πŸ’«

This time is so vitally important to me that I cannot even begin to fully illustrate. A simple head nod is beautiful and will suffice. 

Yesterday I was minding my own business running on the treadmill and completely lost in reading my book when an acquaintance came up beside me to interrupt. 

He startled me because I was actually in such a solid groove between a good stride and the good soul food from the pages of the book. 

I jumped off to the side rails and muted my headphones and told him that he scared me. 

Shit went downhill fast from there…. 

Guy proceeds to start right in being “funny” I guess?

Comedy show starts something like this: 

“Well maybe you need to wear a few more bracelets and maybe add some to your ankles”….. 😳 

Many of you that have actually seen me in real life know I am fond of my bracelets – I wear oodles of them from all walks of life and I LOVE THEM. 

Do I give a fπŸŒͺck what anyone else thinks about me and my bracelets?? Nope. 

Do I want to rip this guys face off and toss his peepers up in the air like confetti at this point?? YUP. πŸ™‚

He goes on to ask me what I am reading and I’m so off guard because I’m irritated that he’s not only interrupted my run, but he’s started right out the gates by mocking me. 

For a FLEETING moment my protective little brain said “DONT tell him what your reading… it will save you…….” 

But as with much else I didn’t heed the warning and shared with him that I am training to be a life coach and a self love guide and was doing my homework. 

I’ll pause here to tell you that I am a lover of epic proportions… I can forgive and fight hate back with love harder than most…

Guy rolls his eyes, shakes his head and makes exaggerated movements to show me his distaste in my choice… 

And here folks…. is where the flying monkeys went ape shit. πŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺ

When he was done with his spectacle he began to open his mouth to continue his mindless degradation of pretty much everything about me… And I unloaded. 

I was like “How do you come over here and ask me about what I’m doing and squash my dreams when I tell you? I don’t get what’s so fucking funny about my wanting to be a coach and help people to learn to love not only themselves better but to then be able to love others more???” 

His comedy skit is not done folks. 

He gets defensive and asks why I can’t take a joke…. 

Maybe I could have had more patience but I was already irritated that he would interupt me while I was running… 

I was like NO. I can’t take a joke. Not about something that I am this passionate about and is this important to me about changing the quality of lives in people so that we can all live more joyfull, fullfilling lives. NO. 

He goes on to say well the reason he responded like that was because the wife of an old buddy of his used to hit on him and  flirt with him behind his buddy’s back. She was wanting to be a life coach… yada yada. (IDGAF).

Now this guys a firefighter…. if you know chapters of old life you will get the connection here… 

I respond only in the kindest, most angelic, Christian (read: guns blazing) way I can bring myself up to… 

I said “Well that’s like saying all firefighters have small giblets and are cheaters…”…. 

AND now guy has some skin in the game….  Talk about a persons giblets and suddenly they wake up πŸ™„

He goes on some rant about how not all firefighters are this way or that… I drown out his bullshit noise out because it’s either do that or headbutt this asshole and well……. I’m a delicate  f🌟cking flower… Mmmmmkay 😌

He goes on to say that this buddies wife was a whore and was humping eveyone at the gym and some of the trainers and more yada yada of epic proportions. 

Listen. I give zero shits what she’s doing with her vagina, or what anyone does with theirs for that matter. 

And actually at this point I was wishing her magestic vagina would come swallow guy up and carry him to a far off land so I could resume my run. πŸ™‚ 

There was more banter and none of it was pretty. It ended with him saying he should take me to lunch to make up for it… and the only way I’d consider that at this point is if Mr. Snib could poop on his plate and I could rub it in guys eyebrows and ears. πŸ™‚ 

Man I’m angelic today πŸ€”

This guy rattled me and here’s why: 

I HATE dream crushing of any kind…. 

I grew up with a dream crusher, married a dream crusher and have since been in recovery of learning to get back to the authentic me and grow courage enough to be able to stand up, be brave and walk in my truth. 

And let me tell you… it’s not been easy. In fact it’s been pretty effin scary. 

I have had moments where fear overwhelms to me to the point it where it paralyzes me and the sugar plums start whispering sweet nothings to me about how stupid, dumb, not good enough, worthless etc etc etc I am…. 

But this…. 

Every. Single. Ounce. πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯ 

I spent the next few miles distracted and trying to shake off what happened to me. 

I respectfully allowed all the feels about the situation do their thang because I have found that the more resistance I have against wanting to force feelings like anger away… the more it rears its ugly head. 

This is where I have come to learn that the lesson is being shined and polished and ready to emerge. I just need to be patient…. EEEEK and tons of yuck because I’m not good at patience… 😩 or moderation. 😜

This is what I have come up with.

I think that when we spend time working and growing ourselves and striving to get out of the box of normalcy we will be met with new challenges….  

There is that saying new level, new devils and I believe that a million percent. 

I see now where I was being tested….. I was given an opportunity to have my new found passion and desire and soul purpose in life tested and challenged against how strongly I feel about it and how much courage I have to stand up for what I believe in… 

My options in that situation were to fall back into old patterns and habits of thinking and make myself small again at the first sign of someone ridiculing or dream crushing my visions… 

OR stand solid in my resolve that while what I have written on my heart may not be mainstream or normal…it IS me and who I am…

 Friends oh sweet friends…. 

I was not made to be mediocre. And neither were you. 

After the flying monkeys settled back down and the steam stopped rolling out of my ears I was able to dig in the rubble of what happened to locate the gem that is the blessing. There is a blessing in everything…. it’s up to us to dig around in the muck sometimes to find it.

I’m thankful now that guy presented himself to me because if I can’t handle that little bit of heat, Lord knows I won’t  be able to handle bigger, more scary and hurtful adversities the deeper into my journey I travel. 

This is where I know God had his hand in this situation… It’s just when you think he’s on a smoke break or something and not paying attention… that you get in these situations and wonder to yourself why he would put you in harms way…. but…. 

We are not going to be able to control what other people mindlessly say to us or about us behind our backs or what they think about us. Ever. Period. 

But we must know that it is safe to step out of the box. It’s safe to travel away from the group and make our own path. It’s safe to show up and be our unique beautiful selves and it’s beyond OK to be different. 

In my heart I see visions where we are celebrated for what we each bring to the table instead of met with mockery and backstabbing. 

It my belief that others are so uncertain of themselves that they simply don’t know what to do when they see someone else find their radiant inner spark and begin to use it ✨

I love this…. I love encouragement. It’s so blissful and peaceful and delicious. 

I don’t want to be the same as everyone else. I want to be different. I want to be loved while being different. I want to observe and learn from other people’s differences.

I have spent too many years living someone else’s life…. it’s beyond time to start living MY purpose. 

I’ll wrap up the story with a little God wink… as I was walkin away from my treadmill I happened to look down and see a lucky penny.  

I love finding penny’s. I think they are good omens. A feeling of calmness succumbed me. I walked to the locker room and told Nancy, one of my most favorite peeps on earth that works in the gym about how I found a lucky penny and was gonna win the lotto so I didn’t have to go to my meetings the rest of the week. πŸ€πŸ’šπŸ’«πŸŒŸ

I took this penny as a wink from God that I’m doing what I am supposed to be doing. I see it as encouragement to keep on truckin, have faith in the things I am being asked to do and hold on even tighter to that faith when I feel like He’s thrown me to the wolves…. 

I soooooooo invite you to join me to go on your own brave and beautiful journey. Your supported more than you know and more equipped for challenges than you can ever dream. 

Let’s do the damn thang 🀘🏾 

All my love… 

a. Danielle πŸ”₯