My laboratory shenanigans…

First off thank you for taking the time to read this πŸ’•  It means a lot to me.

BUT let’s be honest you would be silly not to because I am SO EXCITED about what I am going to share with you I can’t hardly stand it!!!  

This my peeps, is the first of many of my laboratory (kitchen) adventure blurbs! πŸ’« 

If you are on my snap or follow my IG it doesn’t take a genius to see where my happy is… Kitchen, Led Zeppelin, and dancin. πŸ’« 

Here’s how I decide what to write about…. I don’t. It just comes to me. You folks should be thankful for the crazy voice(s) in my head that prompted me to post this. 

Drum roll… 

Turkey. Enchilada. Baby. Meatloafs. 

Here you will observe them in their original form as “ingredients”… This looks like a big blob of crap πŸ˜– Apologies peeps.. I’m sure my photography skills will improve 😝🀘🏽

I don’t make make up my own recipes a whole lot but I have a real good ass time trying new things I find from other blogs etc that I follow. This is a top fave so far and way too good not to share with you! πŸ’•

Here’s my final product… I’m OBSESSSED. It may look like a pile of… πŸ’©. But kid yourself not its much more magical than that! 

I tweak the recipes I find sometimes and for this I added taco seasoning and it originally said to make one meatloaf πŸ˜• I didn’t have time to bake it for 4 years (50-60 mins) like it said originally to bake. 

I put them in baby loaf pans. How long did I bake them you ask??? 😐 

I can’t be sure because I forgot about them in the oven all together… Twice πŸ™ƒ

First, I got sidetracked and went to the plant store for a while…. 😳 

But how could you say no to these 😌 

I remembered there was food in the oven when I walked in and smelled food πŸ˜† 

I made sure nothing was burned (on fire, burning my house down etc) and all was well. 

I tend to want to overcook things… (Ever had salmonella?!?) 

Luckily, I had some more time so I went outside and got wrapped up with spritzing and taking selfies with Mr. Snib 😊 


So what’s the lesson here folks??? πŸ€” FπŸ’₯ck if I know but if you figure it out please let me know. 😊

Here’s the recipe from the actual site I found it. OH and I used oat flour (ground up oatmeal) instead of panko.. And don’t use salt and pepper.

I look for recipes that are higher in protein but also super flavorful and this one nailed it. πŸŽ‰

As you get to learn more about me through my ditties you will notice I spend ALOT of time in my laboratory. 

It might look like I am purely “cooking” but it’s actually much more than that. 

I am forever on a journey to live a peaceful, serene life. (Been through my fair share of hard knocks) We are not always able to control our external circumstances  (shitty job, shitty mother / father in law… You get the drift). 

This might lead us to feel out of control, stressed, unhappy and void of energy at the end of the day.  Knife anyone πŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺ

What we do have control of more than we think – is what goes on in our pumpkins. 

I had read about meditating and the 4849503736 benefits of doing so but alway scoffed at it. 

I THOUGHT you had to sit scrossed legged on the floor in silence for hours on end to reap real benefits. 

NOT the case friends… Not the case. 

Meditation can be anything you enjoy doing… Running.. Making jewelry, cooking etc. 

It’s better than Zanax. Well… πŸ™ƒ no, for sure it is. 

Take the time to find something that brings YOU peace and joy. 

That’s what my cooking adventures are for me. Which is shocking because I used to HATE cooking. And I should have been good at it because dead mom was an AMAZING cook. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stand to be in the same room as her to learn anything.. Which we will get to at a later date πŸ˜• 

Another reason I cook and feel compelled to share is because I have had body issues.. I have been in the trenches fighting terrible food binge battles.. I have HATED what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I have fought hard to be at peace with food and my reflection. 

2 glaring blessings are that this has helped me to abstain from using food as a drug and cooking absolutely brings me an obscene amount of peace and joy by being my active mediation (namaste, bitches 🀘🏽)

 I also hope that I might inspire someone else to start loving themself more and in turn they may begin to make healthier decisions for their lives. 

…….. Ok. Since I can’t lie to you I must confess when I went to the store to get ingredients for this adventure I forgot the freakin meat… You know for the MEATloaf πŸ˜³πŸ˜πŸ˜† 

I don’t even know about myself sometimes. 

Until later dear friends ❣

All my love…

a. Danielle ❣

Ongoing research project…Β 

I have been very much in my head lately over something that became obvious I need to write about. 

If you do not know… I should tell you that I have been conducting this research project and it’s called: My Life 😳 

I’m divorced. 😣 Blah… there I said it. 

I want to never do that again (duh)… One thing in new life I am always trying to do is examine what I have been through and find how I can learn from it. 

This includes massive amounts of looking in the mirror at my role in the game. FUCK…. that gets uglies at times but sooooo so worth it. (Come on its ok… trust me ☺️)

Although the experience of the death of my marriage and what I thought my life was going to look like was horrific (or so I thought at the time)… It’s clearly becoming truly one of the most amazing things that could have happened to me. 

Each day that clicks on I feel more alive, more free, more vibrant and most importantly more of the true me I think I was always meant to be in the first place. πŸ’« If I hadn’t been such a dumbass and stayed somewhere I didn’t belong for FAR TOOOOOOO long 😳Apologies.. I digress.

It dawned on me a while back why I feel this way… I know now more than ever I am loved SOOOO MUCH ❣ I’m loved by myself more than I ever have been in my life… I have filtered out toxic relationships and have been blessed, BLESSED beyond measure with some of the most amazing people who love me unconditionally.. And finally I know I am loved by that big guy upstairs πŸ’• 

But why is this all so great and what makes this all so wonderful and envigorating I kept wondering?? 

It finally dawned on me (I love my intuitive voice πŸ’«) that the love is free flowing. My peeps don’t suffocate me… I don’t put stipulations on my self love.. And certainly there is no one more forgiving than Him. ❣

It was at this jarring realization that made me freeze in my tracks… 

Let’s be clear here… My marriage was all but over… In hospice.. On its death bed and there were certain other key things we will circle around to later πŸ˜‰ It will get good my loves… Promise ✌🏿️

But when I look back and see the panicked me that was about to have the floor drop out from below me – I did some terrible TERRIBLE things to another soul that are almost too embarrassing to write/ type. 

I suffocated…. I wanted to control.. I cut people out of his life all in attempt to I think at the time save my marriage???…

What I did was put a giant axe in it.  Please do not make my same mistakes…. 

I see now and know with every ounce of my being that love should flow freely. I should not have had to cut people off, suffocate him wanting to know his every move… I was frightened, I was losing my grip and now I want to apologize. To me.. To CBG… And to whomever was in my path of self destruction.

This ditty is one of my favorites of all times. ❣ When I was squeezing the death out of Mr. CBG I was not allowing him to be his true self…. And because I was so obscenely obsessed with changing everything about him I lost who I was and I am damn sure I didn’t love myself. 

This is how I came to realize that you cannot suffocate something and expect for it to thrive and blossom and sparkle into its true self in the jar with a lid on it that you are trying to jam them in. 

But the kicker and step two of the awareness…. Is you have to be brave enough to accept the other person as they are….  AS THEY ARE RIGHT NOW IN REAL TIME IN FRONT OF YOU…  Not as you can see them in the future after they have attended your university of “let me make you into something your not and kill your spirit”…  

We are not here to change or fix people. That simply is not our job. Our duty to ourselves, our loved ones, shit even strangers but most importantly to Him… is to be the best version of ourselves that we can be – and grow into our true authentic selves. 

I don’t sit back and wonder what would have happened if I would have released the death grip on him… No. That would serve me none. 

It’s given me incredibly valuable insight into how I want to love others going forward. It’s given me incredible insight into what kind of love I am willing to accept. 

I know without a grain of doubt that I would not be able to be who I am flourishing and fluttering to be if I was not loved freely by my peeps. Myself and Him included. 

We owe it to ourselves and others for sure to recognize who people are and deeply examine if we can love them exactly the way they are… If not let it go. We all deserve that much. 

The only small ouch I have over my death grip on Mr. CBG episode is that I would have been brave enough to let go much sooner… 

I can’t even probably accurately get this out on “paper” properly… but I love him now more than I ever did. FROM A DISTANCE FOLKS πŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺ from a very spiritual and far far away distance 😝

 In fact it’s a chilling realization to me that I, in fact, may have never truly loved him at all in the first place…. 

I didn’t love myself so how the fuck could I EVER have loved another… I held on with a death grip for him to complete me or fill gaps in me.. Whatever unhealthy, insane reason. Then simultaneously I wanted to “fix” him when I should have started looking in the mirror YEARS ago…  

Recipe for distaster??? DING DING DINGπŸ’₯ We have a winner. 

I also am currently watching someone I love (freely.. haha get it?!) go through a similar experience…  

I get to see from the sidelines exactly what transpired in my own death grip match. 

And I think that’s why God brings people to us…  I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy what I went though or what my person is going through. But it gives me an opportunity to also learn more about love than I have ever bargained for in my life. 

But that’s I guess why this is an on going research project. Life. 

Without this experience I wouldn’t have examined this… 

I love nothing more -NOTHING I’m saying… Than being loved for who I truly am. If I could bottle that feeling up and sell it I would be a millionaire. 

My goal is to always love others in that fashion also… I believe by doing so the right people will come into our lives and stay as they are meant to. They are free to flutter and be themselves – but the best part of that is that we can flutter together. 

And there’s really nothing more beautiful.  β£ 

That’s all for now ❣ 

All my love… 

a. Danielle ❣

Am I a Hoarder???

First allow me to warn you I may have an over active imagination… πŸ™ƒ

That being said.. I am starting to feel like I could be on the show “Hoarders” (soooooo not even close). 

Truthfully.. I have started to feel a little suffocated in some areas of my life. A weird stagnant feeling has been building up around me it seems like and I can not shake it. 

As luck would have it a few weeks ago one of my dear friends randomly texted me a picture of two books she had purchased on sale from Super T. They were about decluttering and creating a space that sparks joy. (LOVE divine timing).

I didn’t take action at the time but the seed was most definitely planted…  And the next time I had seen her she was so excited about her books and getting her project started. Her sheer enthusiasm about it was ubber infectious. 

Hook line and sinker. I immediately went on Amazon and purchased the book for my kindle. I love reading my kindle while doing cardio… Two birds, one stone sorta deal. This book is life changing. 

In a nutshell, it talks about why we hang on to items we haven’t looked at, worn, or touched in years. 

Further it explains the principle that if we do not clear out old “anythings” in our lives, we cannot make space for new more amazing anythings to come our way. (Clothes, magazines, men/women πŸ€”)

In light of my new found resolve to keep creating a more joyful, inspiring, and purposeful life… This book was beyond perfect (of course) and great timing (thanks universe πŸ˜‰). 

I’m ready to continue letting go of old things that no longer serve me in any area of my life. Starting with my clothes of course ☺️

What I found by simply decluttering my clothes is that I actually have a better relationship with EVERYTHING. My entire outlook on the things I want to surround myself with has changed DRASTICALLY. 😳 

I spent about 2-2.5 hours going through my clothes precisely as the book instructed. Here they are all in a heap on my living room floor! 

And yes my tree is still up because it brings me an emormous amount of joy and I really don’t care what anyone thinks! (It ended up staying up till Patty’s day ☘)

I cannot even begin to describe how refreshed I feel. 

Seriously. There were things that I hadn’t ever worn that still had tags on them. This picture below shows what I am letting go of. Unbelievable. I’m almost ashamed. πŸ˜”

When I finished and was gloating about my job well done I realized a few things… One being I have absolutely no respect for my clothes and closet and the amount of money I essentially wasted on all of this (eeeek). πŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺπŸ”ͺ 

But the clencher is now I know I will always ask myself “does this spark joy” (the simple recipe for determining what you purchase/ keep) when I am about to purchase ANYTHING and bring it in to my space. 

Trust me when I say this project cleared out a lot more than just my closet. And truly this is just a lesson in being mindful if you really strip it down. 

For a step deeper, this was a glaring realization that I had done some numbing (drugging) of myself by mindlessly shopping and spending money on things I hoped would fill my happiness… (Oh boy folks…shits getting deep in here πŸ’©)  Instead of just dealing with the more serious issues going on in my life. 

Have you heard of substitute addiction?? 

If you stick around we will get to that my loves. It will get good, promise. 

Till next time ❣ 

All my love, 

a. Danielle ❣