I know we have all suffered silently being around someone that really didn’t jive with our vibes and for whatever reason was unpleasant.
It could be a co-worker, an acquaintance in your social circle, a family member, someone hounding you to purchase the latest thing they are selling etc.
I’m excited for this nugget today as a follow up from my previous piece about being unapologetically authentic to our own selves.
It seems that the next thing that wants to be born is this discussion on being unapologetic about whom we allow in our space.
Space can be anything… Our life, our energy field, our social media feeds, our thoughts…
I discovered the phenomena that the more I was authentic to myself and didn’t shy away from being seen as that, the more I didn’t have the energy to want to be around people that were a negative entity or an energetic drain.
I began being more picky about who I shared my space and time with. It was mind blowing how many times I would go along with a group even if there were individuals that I knew were an energetic mismatch for fun, peace, love, joy and all the other beautiful, high vibe feels.
It was almost like I felt a social pressure to suffer silently even when I knew there was a massive misalignment.
I forsaked myself in the name of appeasing others. And what’s the gigantic life lesson we are learning about doing that???
You guessed right. Dishonoring ourselves gets a resounding FUCK that. 🙂
The benefit from making a choice to choose who we want to be surrounded by is that it cleans up the bullshit. We walk away from the experience uplifted, joyful and in good spirits. It just feels good.
he downside to being unapologetic about who we spend time with ESPECIALLY if they are a member of a social group or circle is that it runs the risk of disrupting things a bit.
I used to suffer silently and “go with the flow” just because of the fear of what would happen if disruption occurred.
Because like clock work, and much like the sun always coming up and always setting is that the person that has a toxic air about them also tends to be a bully, force of pushy energy. They are able to move energy and the dynamic in the group because of their bully force. The others usually don’t want to deal with the repercussions of this persons meltdown so they quietly appease bully.
Also very much like clock work, they will try and make allies in their case against you. It’s so classic, text book and predictable.
nd we see this. And that’s why we have made the decision to disengage with this kind of person in the first place. Because we don’t have time for that nonsense bullshit.
It can kind of be uncomfortable for a moment when we decide to clean up our friend garden. But you know what’s possible?
Something that I don’t think many people grasp. It’s perfectly ok for us to not care for someone else that everyone else might love. It’s perfectly ok for us to love someone that everyone else doesn’t get along with.
Not only that. It’s more than ok for use to not push our agendas of not appreciating another person and rallying others to get in your same page about them.
It’s ok for two people to have opposing views on the same person. It’s ok for us to still be friends regardless how I feel about someone you like and I don’t care for their energy because I have evolved to a place that my time is spent better loving you and enjoying you while not trying to get you to share my same view points of another.
Life’s become MUCH more peaceful. Much, much more peaceful.
If we are worried that by honoring ourselves and removing ourselves from the presence of someone that is not a positive match, that’s ok and very normal.
But the thing is if your people are TRULY your people they will love and respect your opinions and feelings and not put their agendas on you either.
If you start distancing or blocking, unfriending, doing WHATEVER to clean up your space and others start moving and grumbling and rallying with that person… LET THEM.
Let them GO.
They are not your people.
As we begin to step into our authentic selves and make decisions that value ourselves in terms of who we surround ourselves with – people will show you their cards.
And we will learn further who is our tribe and who isn’t. When we start getting clear about how we want to feel when we are around people our experience as a whole increases in positivity and overall joy and happiness.
Energy is very much a real thing. We need to learn to listen to and honor our guts and intuition when it comes to feeling drained or anything other than amazing when we are around people.
If we know that someone is toxic to us we owe it to ourselves to make actions for US that support that. But leave everyone else alone to make their own decisions.
Girls can be catty man. It’s ridiculous. But instead of dealing with the drama and stirring up shit storms and manipulating others why don’t we spend the energy tidying up our side of the street.
We need to decide how it is we want to feel when we are around others. If we know someone that isn’t conducive to that, make the self-preserving, self-loving and self-honoring decision to not allow them in our space.
Anyone else that chooses to distance and take sides, let them go also.
Ever since I have been adopting this concept my relationships have become richer. They have become more full with those who are closer to an energetic match to my heart and soul. I let my guard down. I am able to simply “be”, void of toxicity, cattiness and bullshit. My energy is not drained. I feel uplifted, supported and all things wonderful.
I’m currently not letting anybody fuck with my flow. 🙃
We have to be unapologetic about it because as with any change there will be some resistance. Knowing what’s important to us is key. Deciding how we want to feel is vital. Honoring ourselves is crucial.
And who knows… by us lighting the way and doing this it may inspire others to clean up their space of people that don’t positively serve them as well.
Enough for now.