Hello loves 🙃
I’ve been overcoming something in my own life I feel compelled to share about.
Pretty much my entire life has been spent watering myself down for whatever reason. Whether it was trying to fit into some group or appease someone else, I would sacrifice who I TRULY was for the sake of others.
I think most of us don’t really grasp the true detriment of doing this. When we hold ourselves back and water ourselves down it silently whispers to our soul that we are not enough or worthy as we are.
And that my beloveds, is incredulous bullshit 🙂
For me I think it was the fear of not belonging. I had the ridiculous (limiting) belief that I had to belong to a group to matter and if I didn’t, there was something wrong with me.
I had the belief that even if I knew in my heart something upset me about someone else I would stifle it for fear of rocking the boat.
I shouldered EVERYTHING and self-sacrificed for the sake of others.
It became glaringly obvious that I was no longer able to keep myself small and disallow myself from being the truest, fullest version of me, unapologetically.
Life is really meant to flow with ease. When we are misaligned with who we are it shows up in inner turmoil and conflict with ourselves.
When we start shifting the dynamic to a place where we are able to choose ourselves and our needs first even if that means disappointing another that’s where true magic occurs.
Everything changes in life.
But the issue is that most of us are so engrained to put others first and their needs first that we don’t take the time to realize that it’s US that we need to be putting first and honoring.
We are engrained to not rock the boat if speaking up for ourselves would mean disappointing our mother.
We fear that by speaking up against an infraction or violation by a friend in our group that we would be disbarred.
So we stay silent and self sacrifice.
But this means we are not being the truest version of ourselves that we can be. Essentially we are not honoring ourselves. And each time we slink back against being authentically us and speaking up what’s on our hearts and setting healthy boundaries we are telling ourselves that we are not worthy.
And that belief will manifest in drawing closer to you people and things that prove that theory correct.
It dawned on me that I was sacrificing myself to make others comfortable when at the end of the day I should be my top priority.
It’s crazy at just shy of 36 years old I am discovering the paramount value of actually treating myself worth a damn.
Whether its in what I fuel my body with nutritionally, how I support my health by working out and the thoughts and beliefs I Fuel my brain (and heart and soul) with.
Don’t you think it’s a widespread epidemic that we treat others way better than we treat ourselves??? We deserve to give ourselves the love we so freely give others.
I invite you to think for a moment of the person you love the absolute most in the whole universe. Really allow the feelings to encompass you.
Now start directing that love to yourself. Because THATS what we should all be doing! Every moment of everyday day!
So what does this have to do with being unapologetically you?
When we are true to ourselves and speak up for ourselves and honor ourselves in the face of disappointing another, we are giving ourselves the ultimate gift.
We are telling ourselves that we are worthy. Because we ARE!
Being unapologetically you might look like setting boundaries against your mother whom you know is toxic to you and your health and growth. It might look like you telling her how her treatment of you makes you feel.
It might look like speaking up to someone that owes you money whom you dread having the conversation with because you know the persons attitude is larger than life and is a bully and you know there will be some amount of flack.
It’s blocking or un-friending or unfollowing someone in your circle that has a toxic negative energy and you simply do not want it around you AND doing it unapologetically regardless if that means upsetting the balance.
it’s doing all these things knowing full well it might upset someone else and being ok with that.
Being unapologetically you is the ultimate gift of self-love and honor we can give ourselves.
We might lose people along the journey of coming back to ourselves and that’s OK!!!
It’s better than ok. They weren’t your people to begin with. They were your fake people because you were being a fake version of you.
Your people are the ones that love you for who you are in a deep, true, full level. Your people would never allow you to water yourself down. They accept you as he perfectly imperfect being that you are.
This concept may be scary if it means that your going to disappoint a mother or family member.
To me sometimes the title of “family” just gives others a license to treat you less than just because they are relatives. And well, fuck that.
When we shift to start honoring ourselves and showing up authentically and unapologetically there WILL be shift. This much I can promise you.
You will be tempted to revert back to old ways of watering yourself down because it will piss people off. But if we can breath through the turbulence of watching some people drop out of our lives it will allow more people that are more aligned with who you really are to come in.
Be strong and bold. Disrupt shit. Everything if you want. But be you.
The real you.
Your beautiful and talented and fucking wonderful!!! Not only do we all deserve to see you as you were created, YOU deserve to see you as the brilliant being you are under the robes of repression. Not as the version of yourself you molded yourself into so as to not disappoint those around you.
Wouldn’t you rather be loved and accepted for how you truly are and have the ones that don’t get the fuck on out of your life???
Enough for now.
All my brilliant love and acceptance… 🧡