“As I began to love myself my relationship with everyone changed” is one of the most profound concepts I have come across.
It’s incredibly transformative and yet so many of us haven’t the slightest grasp of what this means.
Our external relationships are a direct mirror to our relationship we have with ourselves.
An example of this is seen when a woman keeps meeting the same type of men that don’t treat her with an ounce of respect, makes her feel less than, devours any remaining sense of self worth, etc. She knows deep in a corner of her heart that it’s not the best but she settles.
This is a mirror of her relationship with herself and it illuminates the lack of self-love that she has for herself.
The guy is only offering her a means to show her that. But we don’t pay attention to these universal languages and concepts.
She attracts this same type of man because that is where her vibration or belief systems are at about herself.
She doesn’t respect herself because if she DID, she wouldn’t be with a man that treated her less than a fucking queen in the first place.
It’s not (entirely) her fault though. People, situations and other events slowly mold and shape us and we (subconsciously) start creating limiting beliefs about ourselves. These things slowly start taking us away from the our truth. Our truth is that we are valuable, worthy, unique beings that deserve all the love and light a person can handle and more.
We are told in various ways, verbal and nonverbal, direct and indirect, that we are unworthy so that’s what types of relationships we get into. The ones that prove that limiting belief in us right.
So then what do we do when we find ourselves in relationship like this?
We try and change THEM 😳
And we fail miserably, most likely destroying both of us and the relationship in the process of it.
Every time you find yourself spending time trying to figure another human out or trying to change another human it’s an opportunity to pause and turn our happy asses right around and go look in the mirror.
Every. Single. Time.
It’s the truth Ruth. And it sucks swallowing that bitter pill but, oh so worth it.
We have some faulty wiring in us that prohibits us from loving ourselves sometimes. Or we don’t think we should put ourselves first. We think it’s selfish. We establish a martyr like persona.
And it’s damaging our relationships with everything.
We need to look inward and start asking ourselves the important questions like how much did we love ourself today? How kind was I to myself? Did I sacrifice myself for another today for fear of disappointing them but ended up ultimately betraying me?
If we are feeling stressed how often do we pause, connect with ourselves and ask what it is we truly need in that moment?
No. We don’t most often because we are bad asses and we barrel through life tackling anything that it throws at us. Which totally rocks and that serves us well.
Until it doesn’t.
I invite you to start reflecting on your relationship with yourself. Do you speak down to yourself during the day and not even really notice it because it’s the norm?
Do you find yourself going insane trying to figure out your narcissistic ex that keeps toying you along?
Get to the mirror ASAP.
Figure out what is the most loving thing you can do for yourself. AND DO IT!!!
I will say I am an AVID IPA beer drinker and love my spritzers but this is one time where I will tell you that boozy treats are not an act of self love.
It doesn’t enrich our relationship with ourself. It numbs us to it.
When we start respecting ourselves and celebrating the monstrous things we have over come and using positive, empowering language during our self talk we will notice a change in dynamic around us.
Shift will happen 🙂
Lots and lots of shift. 🙃
My invitation for us is to turn inward and start assessing how we love and treat ourselves. This is NOT another opportunity to beat ourself up for coming to the realization that we are terrible to ourself.
It’s an opportunity to make amazing shift in your life.
When we commit to loving ourselves that’s throwing out a big, bold ass statement to everything around us that we are now more fully able to love them too!
But we must come first.
Enough for now.
Absolute (self) love ❣️