I’m not one to preach or write something that I don’t have experience with so when I tell you I have been in the trenches at war with myself and letting my happiness be dictated by the scale… I’m not exaggerating.
Not the slightest.
It’s awful how addicted or obsessive I was around that stupid thing. I remember many days being nervous to step on it and having the bottom drop out of my stomach when I would read the numbers.
The rest of the day I was in a down hill spiral of self loathing, self shaming, criticizing, judging etc.
Any way I could further devalue myself I did.
Actually as I write this I feel sick for how terrible I really did treat myself for all those years.
I think as women (and men’s too 🙂) we need to be taught young in life that our value is NOT dictated by the shape of our body or the number on a scale.
I recall asking my PE teacher in elementary school how many calories it took to burn 1 pound of fat…. The hook for disordered eating and body dysmorphia was set.
Fast forward to adulthood where my favorite flavor of disordered eating was binging and purging. Food became my companion. My friend. It was ALWAYS there for me.
But the thing about that type of love affair with food is that it’s most often laced with shame, guilt, self hatred and the like.
After years of binging and purging I arrived at what would be my spiritual rock bottom. I found myself in the discard phase of the narcissistic cycle.
Most the times during stress I would eat. But turns out when your losing your marriage and life as you know it and dealing with smear campaigns from hell: you lose your appetite.
I lost 30 lbs in a few weeks. My body started eating its own muscles for fuel. I was thin. I was ill.
BUT somehow I felt more worthy.
Fast forward to coming back from that and being healthy BUT being a prisoner to the scale! I would beat myself up the more the number on the scale crept up. It didn’t matter I was victorious because I was healthy and happy! I was unable to see that. I was blinded because of the stupid fucking scale.
OOOOOOO much healthier in mind, body and soul than I was in the picture on the left.
But I couldn't appreciate what I seen in the mirror or that I FELT so much better because that damned number told me some bullshit lies.
The despair I was feeling got so heavy I knew I had to make a choice. I could choose to be prisoner to the scale or I could break up with it and make my focus and happiness on how I FELT not that number.
As with any change when your addicted/obsessive about something it was a bitch to kick the scale habit. I mean really hard. I studied habits and methods to change habits and have them stick and I am the all or nothing type of person. So I had to quit cold turkey.
And I never looked back. I'm free from being in-prisoned by the scale. I gauge where I am by how I feel when I try on my clothes. If they start feeling a little snug I make small adjustments in the daily life to afford me to get back to my good vibes right away.
I have never felt more free. Well, except when I got divorced from someone who didn't love or respect me I felt pretty fucking free and fabulous then too 🤗
But I feel free. I dropped the war with myself. I'm easier on myself than I ever have been. And I think it's no coincidence that I am the most successful in terms of being healthful than I ever have been in my life.
I'm writing this because I was speaking with my girlfriend who was sharing her story and journey with weight watchers.
I know she's been wildly successful in the past using weight watchers and I am behind ecstatic to watch her journey back to health and to loving herself as she deserves to be loved.
But one thing really made my heart break when she was sharing her story. She said she went for weigh in this week and she "only lost half a pound".
My native language is energy before words and I could literally FEEL the defeat seeping from her when she spoke those words.
I KNOW first hand what lower vibrational feelings like despair can do for a person. They can make you give up.
So continued with her story saying how she had done "soooooo Good all week" but was like WTF at her weigh in.
I asked her what "did Good all week" translated into for her. She said she followed her nutrition as she should. Her jeans had started fitting loosely and sagging in her butt. She felt better all around.
When she was telling me this I could feel her excitement and hope but then she stepped on the STUPID MOTHERFUCKING SCALE.
Just like that.
Every good, positive feeling she had about herself and her progress was killed.
She didn’t have to continue the story of how her week went after that because I know what happens when a person feels defeated.
She said she had a shitty week. She didn’t follow her Nutrition… she essentially said F it and gave up.
This is SO CRUCIAL and I want everyone to hear this:
Do not let the number on the scale mess with your progress. I know that most of us have it engrained in us that the scale is the only source to gauge our “success” but it’s not.
We have what’s referred to as Non-Scale victories. Aka NSV’s.
And these are your best friends. Your allies. They are there to help you in your journey so you don’t give up when the scale doesn’t budge.
NSV’s are your jeans fitting looser after you have been consistent in your journey. It’s FEELING good and being happy about feeling good. It’s about celebrating you choosing to make the ultimate commitment to yourself to love yourself enough to care for it properly.
They need to be celebrated.
I think I probably blacked out and don’t remember much else because it infuriates me to NO end seeing someone’s progress derailed by the scale.
But I have asked her to go back to how she thought and felt about herself prior to her weigh in. Source those good, positive enthusiastic vibes again.
Getting our mindset behind us is the secret to being a total flipping badass! It’s what I incorporate in my personal training and my go to when I do my transformative guiding.
We ALL have the ability to be wildly successful in anything we set our sights on.
I know my friend has got the most tenacious heart. I have no doubts that by her being mindful and diligent about her mindset going forward and working on celebrating her NSV’s along the way she’s going to knock her own socks off.
I want to scream this message from the roof tops though. Don’t just gauge your progress from the scale. Try on your clothes. See how they fit.
Step on the scale if you know about the anatomy and density of fat in relation muscle and understand what body composition means. If you can trust yourself not to be trailed by the scale not moving and keep your positive outlook, then have at it.
If you easily get derailed by the scale, let’s find another method to gauge yourself.
My go to is asking yourself how you fucking feel? Do you feel better when you try on old jeans in your closet and your heart leaps out of your chest because they fit better? Then use that as your guide.
Then use your enthusiasm and high vibes to help carry you on to more success. It’s a domino effect. Use this to your advantage.
Because ultimately when we set a goal to get to a certain weight it’s because in our brains we think that getting to that weight will elicit some feeling we are desiring.
Happiness, confidence, sexiness, self love.. etc.
I’m saying… source that fucking feeling now about yourself WHILE you are journeying down to your goal and watch how your progress catapults. ☺️
Mmmmmm that’s delish.
I am the biggest advocate for us learning to love ourselves to health.
Enough for now.
With much gratitude,