I have been feeling extra feely lately and wanted to express where my heart has been.
This past few months I have immersed myself in education and personal development courses.
I have basically been on a lock down.
Literally for the first time ever in my educational history I have been being responsible when it comes to studying and actually applying the principles 😳
Maybe it’s because I am finally getting my head out of my ass or maybe it’s because I feel an urgent awareness that our presence here on earth means so much more than meets the eye.
I’m going to go with the latter.
I have been reflecting on the numerous ways my life has been transformed and something that keeps coming to focus is how much more vibrant and rich and purposeful my life feels.
I am a truth seeker so I am always exploring the reasons and meaning behind situations, behaviors and most things. I’m always looking for ways my education will present itself in real life settings.
One thing I have been feeling an abundance of lately is a deep, deep gratitude for new people and experiences coming into my life.
And it’s the most randomest chance happenings that they arrive in my path. I have been noticing that they more often than not feel like I have known them for lifetimes instead of mere weeks.
They more often than not inspire me in ways that don’t even make sense… They ignite a passion in me for life and get me excited to breath and be here and show up everyday closer to my true authentic self.
I was reflecting about this phenomena over the weekend. I realized that a major life lesson I have been trying to apply has actually been one of the major reasons for this shift and influx of spiritual tribe mates.
It’s the concept of letting go….
This one has been a hard one for me to grasp and want to apply.
Through childhood and other scenarios I have felt a huge fear of abandonment which means that anything I tried to “let go” of has always had claw marks on it.
This means shit that was severely toxic for me.. (read: my marriage). Even though I knew it was destroying me I held on with death grips.
I read an incredibly life altering book appropriately named “Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender” by David Hawkins.
There are certain things and people and situations in our lives that are truly only meant to be with us for short times. They swoop in, do their mission and then are meant to be able to transition on with ease.
But what happens is we resist. We hold on to dear life to things that are not meant to be with us any longer than they had been.
We hold on to relationships that no longer serve us. We stay in abusive marriages for far too long. We stick with friends or family that continually disappoint or harm us.
We hold onto limiting beliefs about ourselves that are not true or don’t apply because they are some made up bull shit our negative sugar plums want to tell us about ourselves to keep us small.
What happens when we let go or surrender is that it truly clears space for new things and people that are more in alignment with who we are evolving into as well.
There is much to be said about releasing the death grip, surrendering and allowing things to flow with grace and ease.
It’s dawned on me that this principle has absolutely been actively working in my life. I have been gifted with some of the most exquisite people and experiences and inspiration because of it.
It used to bum me out of a friend drifted apart. I used to break my back making sure nothing changed in my life until I realized the true detriment to that.
There is no harm or foul in allowing someone to flutter freely in and out of whatever flow they happen to be in. When their flow aligns with mine it’s beautiful. When their flow takes them to things that make their heart sing.. that’s beautiful also.
Sometimes when someone removes themselves from your life it’s an absolute blessing. It removes their own toxicity without you you having to make hard choices. I’ve learned the value in letting these kinds of things peacefully go as well.
This concept of clearing space for beautiful relationships was brought to the forefront of my brain because I was reflecting on how differently I feel each day I wake up now.
I know I wouldn’t be feeling this way if I didn’t ease up the grip and clear space for it.
I’m coming into what I am truly passionate about and what I most want to create out of my life and the imprint I want to leave on this earth.
It’s also been because of this focus I believe that I have been setting myself up for some amazing relationships to be formed that are going to end up being powerful partnerships.
They are equally as passionate about their work and their footprint on this earth that I am. And even if their modality of work doesn’t look anything like mine, then end result is much the same.
And this excites the fuck out of me!!!
We all serve a purpose here on earth whether we know it ourselves yet or not. We are not meant to cut each other down, be resentful, or harmful to one another. But in real life all those things happen.
That’s why I think I feel so overwhelmingly grateful for the blessings that present themselves to me.
They inspire me to want to step up my game and make hard decisions and do scary things in the name of change and growth.
Today I feel humbly blessed for releasing the death grip and holding space for things to flow much more gracefully.
I feel humbly blessed by the miracles and amazing things that occur when I dig my heels in and work for the things I am passionate about.
Letting go is not easy. There is nothing easy about losing something that you once loved. Or liked the hell out of. There are those moments of emptiness where I think we need to master that pause.
It’s in that moment I think we panic and go running back to what just harmed us. But if we can focus our intention on keeping that space open and walking in our truth even if that means going it alone, I know we will continue to be amazed at the beauty that fills those gaps.
I feel moved to tell those reading this tonight that if you have had any part in my life… whether it was a random meeting, we used to hang out 24/7 or someone that’s come into my life recently but has left a deep lasting impression… I want to thank you.
All of you.
Thank you for being you.
Deep love tonight ❣️